Grief And Traumatic Events

We carry our trauma and learn to live with it. We do not get over it. We are forced to make space for it, and sometimes we thrive despite it.

I, Makinde, am going to kick things off by exploring the bewildering territory of grief that follows traumatic events. This isn’t just about sadness or loss, it’s also about the profound disruption that trauma can wreak on a person’s life. Different people react differently to trauma, so it’s crucial to understand that grieving is a highly personal experience. For some, it’s a silent internal struggle, while for others, the pain might be more visible and expressive.

Grief and trauma might seem similar because they can both lead to intense emotional pain, but they require different approaches to healing. When we talk about trauma, we’re referring to the body and mind’s response to a deeply disturbing event that challenges our sense of safety. Grief, on the other hand, is the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away.

The impacts of grief on our physiological and psychological well-being are immense. It can lead to changes in appetite, sleep disturbances, and even weaken the immune system. Psychologically, grief can manifest as depression, anxiety, or even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The key is not to shy away from these reactions but to recognize them as normal responses to abnormal events.

This brings us to the pivotal role of understanding in the face of loss. By acknowledging the many faces of grief, we set the stage for healing in the way that resonates with us. The next step? Looking at the non-linear and unique journey each individual takes towards recovery and the surprising ways in which daily practices like meditation can guide us on the path to healing.

The Journey of Healing After Loss

I’m going to guide you through the profoundly personal and often unpredictable journey of healing after loss. The path to recovery from grief is not a straight line with clear milestones; it’s more of a winding trail with ups and downs, twists and turns. Every individual’s experience is unique, and that’s okay. You’re going to find out about the different stages of grief, which were famously conceptualized by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. While these stages are not a strict framework, they can help you understand the emotions you might be cycling through: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance.

If you’re grappling with loss, it’s vital to recognize the diversity in coping mechanisms. Some people may find solace in solitude, while others search for comfort in social connectivity. There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to handling grief; choose something that resonates with you. Moreover, it’s important to acknowledge that sometimes, grief can feel overwhelming. In my opinion, that’s when seeking professional help can be a game-changer. Mental health professionals can provide the support and guidance needed to navigate through the darker periods of grief.

Self-compassion is key during these times. Don’t worry too much about ‘getting over’ your grief quickly. Healing takes time, and allowing yourself that time is not a sign of weakness but of strength. Make room for all your feelings, and don’t rush the emotional processing. Remember, your first attempt at finding peace doesn’t need to be your last. You can always adjust your approach down the road as you continue to heal and understand your grief more deeply.

With that understanding of the healing journey, let’s talk about something that can be incredibly beneficial during this time: daily meditation. This practice can serve as a supportive tool, helping you navigate the rough waters of trauma and grief. Meditation can provide quiet moments for reflection, a much-needed pause in the day to process emotions, and a way to manage stress. I’m here to help you understand how this can fit into your daily life and support your pathway to recovery.

Daily Meditation: A Tool for Trauma and Grief Healing

In my opinion, meditation is an underrated yet powerful ally in dealing with grief and trauma. It’s not a magic cure, but it offers consistent support as you navigate the choppy waters of healing. Daily meditation can provide a sense of stability when everything else seems to be in turmoil. So, let’s explore how this practice can be your companion on the journey of recovery.

You’re going to find out that meditation can significantly temper stress and soothe emotional pain. It does this by encouraging mindfulness—a non-judgmental awareness of the present moment. By focusing on the here and now, you can often quiet the endless cycle of ‘what if’s’ and ‘if only’s’ that frequently accompany loss and trauma.

I’m going to introduce you to a few meditation techniques like focused attention, where you zero in on your breath or a specific object. There’s also open monitoring meditation which invites you to observe your thoughts and emotions without getting swept away by them. If sitting still isn’t your thing, don’t worry—you can try walking meditation, which combines gentle physical activity with mindful awareness.

Adding meditation to your daily routine might seem challenging at first, but it’s all about finding what resonates with you. Start with just a few minutes a day, and gradually increase as you feel more comfortable. Remember, there’s no right or wrong way to meditate. The goal is not to empty your mind but to become more aware of your thoughts and feelings without being overwhelmed by them.

As we transition into the next part of our discussion, think of meditation as laying the groundwork for building a stronger support system. It’s about creating mental and emotional space for healing. This sets the stage for the next critical steps in moving forward—seeking and accepting support, engaging in healing activities, and marking your progress on the path to recovery.

Mapping the Path to Recovery: Healing from Loss

Healing from a profound loss is akin to embarking on a deeply personal journey where the road ahead can be both uncertain and challenging. In the pursuit of regaining a sense of peace, it’s important to recognize that there’s no universal roadmap for recovery. Each path is uniquely paved by individual experiences, emotions, and coping mechanisms.

The support systems we cultivate play a crucial role in our healing process. This can involve leaning on friends, family, and support groups who empathize with our situation. Professional help from therapists or counsellors specialized in grief can offer valuable guidance and strategies tailored to our needs.

Integrating rituals and acts of remembrance can also serve as powerful tools for healing. Whether it’s through writing letters to the loved one we’ve lost, lighting a candle in their memory, or celebrating their life annually, these rituals provide opportunities to honor our emotions and cherish the bond that continues in a new form.

Seek out activities that facilitate expression and processing of your emotions. This could range from creative arts like painting and writing to physical activities like yoga or hiking. Additionally, locating resources such as books, podcasts, or workshops on grief and healing can provide comfort and knowledge during difficult times.

As you continue on this path, allow yourself the grace to reflect, to grow, and to find new meaning in life after your loss. Remember, healing doesn’t mean forgetting—it means carrying forward the love, lessons, and memories in a way that enriches your life. In the journey through grief, each small step can be a stride towards a new chapter of resilience and hope.

Thanks for coming with me this far.

Kindly share your comments and experiences below.

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4 thoughts on “Grief And Traumatic Events”

  1. my life sure does have a way of giving you a share of troubles. And never seems to leave you alone. Obviously grief is just one example of this. For me I’ve become very much focused on just being present in the moment. I find no matter how much I worry or dwell on the past it doesn’t seem to help anything ever.

    Reply
    • Hi Jake,

      Life has a way of tossing challenges our way. As a former Spinal cord accident patient, I absolutely agree with your assertion on staying in the present.

      It’s remarkable how much peace it can bring amidst the chaos.

      However, the past is there for us to learn from, and move forward.

      That, which does not kill us, can only make us stronger.

      I appreciate your contribution and perspective.

      Thanks.

      All the best,

      Makinde.

      Reply
  2. This article made me think alot about how I have reacted to grief.  I was one who needed to be around people after my young sibling passed away.  I needed to talk about it and get others input.  While I never went to a mental health provider our family was tight knit and everyone wanted to make sure the others were ok.  You are so right it the healing process takes a long time.  But with the right support team around you, we can get through it and hope to move on to more peace in your life.  Thank you for this it was a very good read!

    Reply
    • Hello Lisa,

      Firstly, please accept my condolences on the passing away of your young sibling.

      I appreciate your contributions to this article and the sad experience you shared. Losing a family member or a loved one is always never a good experience.

      Just like you have rightly noted, talking about it and support from family and friends in time of grief and traumatic events cannot be overemphasized. Your good and close knitted family support to one another is also a big plus in the healing process, and the ability to move on.

      Thank you once again for your contributions.

      I wish you all the best.

      Makinde

      Reply

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